Resisting Offense through Humility and Love

Resisting Offense

“A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.” Jesus did not answer a word. So, his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.” He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.”

The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said. He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” “Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment.”  Matthew 15:22-28 NIV

 

A Lesson from the Canaanite Woman

In the Scriptures above, Matthew narrates an encounter between a Canaanite woman and Jesus Christ. The woman who had a demon-possessed daughter came to Jesus with a request for mercy and help.

 

Unlike the Jewish leaders of her day who did not receive Jesus’ ministry, she had faith in Him. She boldly called Him “Son of David,” a title, which showed that she clearly recognized and acknowledged Jesus as the Messiah.¹ (Matthew 1:1, 21:9, 22:42-46, Romans 1:3, 2 Timothy 2:8, Revelation 5:5)

 

In response to her cry for help, Jesus kept quiet and didn’t answer her immediately. She kept at it until His disciples got irritated and begged Jesus to send her away. Jesus then responded with the statement; “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.” (Matthew 15:23-24)

 

The Canaanite woman was not deterred by His response. Instead, she knelt before Him and asked again for help. This time, Jesus said, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” (Matthew 15:25-26)

 

I don’t know about you, but I’d probably have taken offense at this point. But not this woman.  Notice that she didn’t miss a beat when Jesus responded to her. She was on a mission to receive deliverance from Him on behalf of her daughter, and she understood the meaning behind His statement.

 

Jesus always showed compassion to all who came to Him. (Matthew 9:36, 14:14, 20:34, Mark 8:2, Luke 7:13) Since He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8), He definitely had compassion for the woman.

 

Jesus was not out to belittle her and make her feel worthless. He was stating the status of His ministry at that point in time. He came first to the Jews, then to the Gentiles (non-Jews). Salvation (which is an all-encompassing word that includes deliverance, healing, preservation, and wholeness) came first to the Jews through Jesus; then to the whole world through the same Jesus Christ after His crucifixion and resurrection. (John 4:22, Romans 1:16, John 1:11-12, John 3:16)

 

Jesus metaphorically referred to the Jews as children and the Gentiles as dogs implying that at the time of His walk on earth, the Jews were the primary recipients of His ministry. (Matthew 10:5-6, Matthew 15:24)

 

The Canaanite woman didn’t take offense at Jesus’ words.  Instead, she kept her focus and responded in faith and humility by saying, “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” (Matthew 15:27) To which Jesus responded, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment.” (Matthew 15:28)

 

What is Offense? 

Offense is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “Annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one’s standards or principles.”² 

 

Some synonyms from the Oxford Dictionary include; annoyance, anger, resentment, irritation, wrath, displeasure, dislike, bad feelings, ill feelings, animosity, and enmity.

 

Primarily, we take offense when we do not base our identity in Christ. We filter what someone says or does through the lens of our own insecurities and self-centeredness. We act out of our inflated sense of pride rather than humility and love.

 

Taking offense is a sin. It displeases God. The root of offense is pride, and it quickly causes us to bear putrefactive fruit such as resentment, bitterness, and strife. Offense opens the door to the devil.

 

Do you have a spirit of offense? Are you easily offended? I invite you to stop and ponder on 30 questions listed in a related post on peacefulwife.com by clicking HERE.³

 

God has made abundant provisions available to us in Christ, but offense and strife will truncate them and make them futile in our lives. Offense impedes our ability to hear and communicate with God making us ineffective and unfruitful in our Christian walk. We end up with broken relationships and poor emotional and physical health because we open the door for the devil, allowing him to wreak havoc in our lives.

 

What Does the Bible Teach on Offense? 

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Matthew 5:39-4

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 2 Timothy 2:24

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. James 1:19-21

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27

For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. James 3:16 (KJV)

We invite the devil and EVERY evil work into our lives when we choose to dabble in offense and strife.

 

Jesus Our Perfect Example 

When it comes to resisting offense, our perfect example is Jesus Christ himself. Although He was sinless, He was accused, insulted, beaten, flogged, pierced, and crucified for our sakes. He was innocent, yet He neither retaliated nor insulted anyone. Instead, in humility, He entrusted himself to God. (1 Peter 2:21-23)

 

Conclusion

As long as we live on earth with people, we will have innumerable opportunities to get offended. No one is exempt.

 

The antidote to taking offense is to resist pride and choose humility and love. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” I Corinthians 13:4-8a

 

In my personal life, I have seen the glaring difference between when I react in humility and love versus pride. Humility results in peace, strength, and unity. It puts me in the center of God’s will for my life. I choose humility over pride.

 

Although Jesus was not out to offend the Canaanite woman, she could easily have taken offense when He referred to the Gentiles as dogs, but she didn’t. She received what she came for because she acted in humility even though Jesus’ initial responses seemed unfavorable.

 

My prayer for us is that through the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within us, we will repent of the sin of taking offense; choosing instead to live with a conscious awareness of our true identity in Christ as we resist offense and pride and extend love in humility to others.

 

You are blessed!!

References:

1. Why Was Jesus Called the Son of David https://www.blueletterbible.org/faq/don_stewart/don_stewart_1332.cfm
2. Oxford Dictionary: https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/offense
3. Do I Have a Spirit of Offense? https://peacefulwife.com/2019/01/08/do-i-have-a-spirit-of-offense/

 

Except indicated, all Scriptures are taken from the New International Version (NIV).

© 2019. Chizobam Idahosa @Beautiful in Jesus.