Article written by my dear friend, Christi Halteman
“The fruit of the Spirit is . . . gentleness”—Galatians 5:22-23 NASB
“Let your gentleness be evident to all.”—Philippians 4:5 NIV
What is Gentleness?
I used to consider myself a gentle person. At least, that’s how others described me, and I agreed. I figured I must be gentle because I don’t frequently assert myself, I tend to speak quietly, and I’m trained to be calm and professional. So, when reflecting on Paul’s writing on gentleness as a fruit of the Spirit, I thought, “At least I have that fruit in my life!”
Biblical Gentleness
Then I realized that Biblical gentleness is different from our popular idea, focusin
g less on our natural temperament and more on a humble heart attitude that trusts God, His Word, and His ways and interacts with others out of that trust.
There are multiple Greek words translated into English as gentle and gentleness. Specifically, depending on the Bible version you are reading, the Greek word “praus,” used in the three references from Matthew’s gospel listed below, is translated in three different ways — meek, humble, and gentle. The use of three different words is partly because the Greek concept is difficult to capture fully with one word in English (Vine).
- “your king is coming to you, humble” (Matthew 21:5 ESV)
- “blessed are the meek” (Matthew 5:5 ESV), and
- “I [Jesus] am gentle” (Matthew 11:29 ESV).
Bible teacher Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth, in her series “The Beauty of Meekness,” points out the slightly different emphasis that each of these words brings to our understanding of Scripture: “Humility is how we view ourselves; meekness is our attitude about God’s dealings with us and others’ dealings with us, and gentleness is the expression in outward action of that attitude of meekness.”
The heart attitude of meekness, out of which the fruit of gentleness grows, trusts in God’s sovereignty (Wolgemuth) and believes in His goodness (Vine). While a gentle person may interact with others in a soft tone of voice or with calmness, God’s idea of gentleness reaches deeper, transforming how we interact with others and respond to God.
Practical Application of Gentleness
This fall, my marriage provided me with an opportunity to display gentleness, and I discovered that gentleness opposes my intense desire to control. When a crisis arose in my husband’s business, my husband and I disagreed about how to resolve the situation. Even after I tried all my usual methods of persuasion — gathering research, arguing, and flooding him with words — he still leaned in a different direction than I thought best. My distress was intense. And at this point, God’s Word rose to mind:
“Your beauty […] should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” (1 Peter 3: 3-6 NIV)
Reluctantly, I saw the way forward: I could submit myself to my husband’s decision if I chose to “hope in God” and, therefore, refuse to “give way to fear.” I sensed a practicality in gentleness that had the power to shift my human relationships.
Displaying Gentleness in our Relationships
Gentleness applies to our relationship with God and others, including people who may not have our best interests in mind. The fruit of gentleness helps us trust that even “the insults and injuries which [others] may inflict, are permitted and employed by Him for the chastening and purifying of His elect” (Trench quoted in Vine).
As Paul instructs young pastor Timothy, “The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition” (2 Timothy 2:24-25 NASB; see also Galatians 6:1). Gentleness transforms how we interact with those who disagree, oppose, or even persecute us — thereby displaying a work of the Holy Spirit.
Growing the Fruit of Gentleness
But how can this fruit grow in our hearts, especially if you, like me, often find yourself proud and resistant to God’s ways, works, or people in your life? I have found help in Psalm 131, the prayer of a meek and gentle heart, which helps me recognize and repent when my heart resists God. When I confess, the Holy Spirit leads me into gentleness and rest.
If helpful, I have inserted Psalm 131 on the left, with examples of my responses back to God on the right, to give you an idea of how you might personalize this Psalm.
| O LORD, my heart is not proud, | Today, LORD, my heart has been hard and self-focused. Forgive me! |
| nor my eyes haughty; | I think myself too good to be going through this situation. Please forgive me for that, too |
| Nor do I involve myself in great matters, | I was irritating myself and others today, trying to solve this problem that’s too big for me. I give it back to you. |
| Or in things too difficult for me. | |
| Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; | Help me compose and quiet my restless, noisy soul! |
| Like a weaned child rests against his mother, | I want to rest against you this way! |
| My soul is like a weaned child within me. | |
| O Israel, hope in the LORD | I choose to hope in you and not in my efforts to fix this problem! |
| From this time forth and forever. (NASB) |
May the Lord continue to grow the fruit of gentleness in your souls through the power of the Holy Spirit who lives and dwells in you! Amen.
Works Cited
“G4239 – praus – Strong’s Greek Lexicon (KJV).” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 5 Dec, 2020. https://www.blueletterbible.org//lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G4239&t=ESV
Vine, W. “Meek, Meekness – Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words.” Blue Letter Bible. 24 Jun, 1996. Web. 5 Dec, 2020. https://www.blueletterbible.org/search/dictionary/viewtopic.cfm?topic=VT0001785
Web. 5 Dec 2020. https://www.blueletterbible.org/search/dictionary/viewtopic.cfm
Wolgemuth, Nancy DeMoss. “Meekness and Trust.” Revive Our Hearts, Life Action Ministries, 18 June 2013. Web. 5 Dec 2020. www.reviveourhearts.com/podcast/revive-our-hearts/meekness-and-trust-1/
about christi
Christi Halteman lives with her husband, of 2 years, in Eastern PA. After walking with God for over 20 years, she still finds God prompting her toward maturity mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as His love and truth transform more areas of her life. Amid a world in transition, she struggles for daily patience and direction as she considers how and where God is leading her next.
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